Rock n’ Roll Heaven
By: S. Gray Steifel, Jr.
In the twilight of his years, a man asked God what it would be like when he went to heaven. This man was a child of the 50’s. He had a strong sense of the past, especially his, as he was fortunate to be a teenager when times were simpler. Those were the days when girls were flirty but virtuous; boys were devilish, but gentlemanly. As their lives were molded by the traits of honesty, integrity and hard work, they endeavored to live their lives accordingly.
So God told this man, “Your eternal life in heaven will reflect the most innocent times of your particular generation.” The man did not totally understand, but he accepted God’s explanation.
Several years passed, and this old man was finally sent to Heaven’s door. As he arrived at the front gate, he could hear music from inside. The sounds were soothing to his ear, and he felt a wave of nostalgia come over him. As he knocked on the gate, he heard a voice, “I Hear You Knocking, must be an Earth Angel arriving.”
A really cool male angel opened the gate, and asked, “Well Roll Over Beethoven, Great Balls Of Fire, who are you?” “I’ll bet you think you’re Sleep Walking or this is Just A Dream.”
The man said, “Some call me Speedo, but my real name is Mr. Earl. I passed away In The Still Of The Night, and I Cried A Tear as I recited My Prayer that God would embrace me in a Sea Of Love.”
The man continued, “My wife died a few years ago; I called her Susie-Q. As I leaned over her bed sobbing, she said very softly, Honey Hush. I cried, Wake Up Little Suzy, but she had moved on. There Goes My Baby, Goodnight Sweetheart.”
The angel said: “Well my friend, you’re not Stranded In The Jungle. You need to know a Story Untold. Your Little Darlin has abided by the Ten Commandments Of Love and the Book Of Love says Save The Last Dance For Me.”
“Don't You Just Know It, your Angel Baby is waiting for you This Magic Moment!”
The man said, “Well I'll Be John Brown, you mean My Babe is here in My Blue Heaven? Lawdy Miss Clawdy, Let The Good Times Roll. Hallelujah, I Love Her So. Could This Be Magic or Just A Dream? Take me to my Little Bitty Pretty One!”
The angel admonished: “You will see your Honey Love soon. But first I need to hear your story.”
The man described his last days: “Well sir, I was on a Sea Cruise and met this Long Tall Sally from Ko Ko Mo. Her real name was Peggy Sue and she was a real Party Doll. One night after One Mint Julip, I touched her Tutti Frutti, she touched my Ling, Ting, Tong, then one thing led to another. I told her, I’m your Sixty Minute Man. After that, I called her Tweedlee Dee and she called me Speedo.
We’d start to Flip Flop & Fly, and we both were Breathless. Then one night I got this Fever which I thought was Poison Ivy. I felt this Ting-A-Ling after One Scotch, One Bourbon, One Beer. Then I went into this Endless Sleep and Sh-Boom, I’m Over The Mountain, A Thousand Miles Away and here I am.”
The angel said, “Ain'T That A Shame. Sounds like you were the All American Boy. Love Is Strange.”
The angel beckoned, “Didn’t know if you were a Devil Or Angel. But you’re OK. Come Go With Me, I Want To Walk You Home.”
As they entered the gates of heaven, they passed this old Hound Dog. the angel said, “He belongs to this long haired dude who likes to wear fancy clothes and drive Cadillacs.”
The angel pointed to another man, “His name is Carl. He loves wearing those Blue Suede Shoes.”
Then they saw a sharp lady drive by in her Rocket "88". Her license plate read “Maybellene”.
Another man passed by and waved. The angel said, “He’s the The Great Pretender who thinks he’s the Duke Of Earl.”
When a huge crowd of people making all this Yakety Yak passed by, the man asked, “Where are they going? The angel said, “They’re going to Shake Rattle & Roll down at Smokey Joe's Cafe.”
This Jim Dandy of a woman went by carrying a cake with Sixteen Candles.
The angel advised, “She’s headed to her School Days when she was Sweet Little Sixteen but she knows Its Only Make Believe.”
The angel advised, “You should know that here in heaven we Rock Around The Clock. Every day we go up on Blueberry Hill where we Rip It Up with a Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On. And there will be some Good Rockin Tonight as we Honky Tonk and do the Night Train. You’ll see Short Fat Fannie, Johnny B. Goode, Be-Bop-A-Lula, Rock'N Robin, Good Golly Miss Molly, Mr. Lee, C.C. Rider, Stagger Lee, Charlie Brown and lot’s more all dancing to Wooly Bully and the Chicken Shack Boogie.”
As they walked further into heaven, the man saw a dazzling lighted entrance to a huge theatre. The angel pointed and said, “That’s the GRRHOF building.”
“What?” the man asked.
The angel replied, “ God’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It’s the place where you can meet all your favorite singers and bands.”
The angel continued, “It’s growing everyday. When a new singer or group arrives, we play When the Saints Go Marchin In. Let’s go inside and see who’s there today.”
As they entered the theater, you could hear the sounds of rhythm, boogie and beat, strumming guitars, doowop-de-wop and a thunderous background noise of cheers and applause. There was one group doing a rock-a-billy song with Buddy Holly, Carl Perkins and Jerry Lee Lewis. Another group singing some love songs consisted of Roy Orbison, Ritchie Valens, Jimmy Clanton and Ruth Brown. Doing some heavy blues tunes were Joe Turner, Hank Ballard, Smiley Lewis and Faye Adams. And perfect harmony in doo-wop style was coming from the Five Keys, the Five Royales and Frankie Lyman.
In the rear of the theater there was a brightly colored door in the shape of a guitar with the initial “E” painted in the center. On either side of the door there were replicas of a grill from a 1956 Cadillac. The man asked, “What’s in that room?”
The angel replied, “It’s not what’s in the room, but who! And you can believe he’s here.”
As they walked outside, suddenly, as if out of A Thousand Stars, this Little Star appeared. It was Susie-Q! Oh What A Dream!
Susie-Q said “No more Tears On My Pillow. My Treasure Of Love has returned to me. The Glory Of Love has brought us together once again. Come Softly To Me, My Love. Eddie My Love!”
And Eddie said, “There are many Moments To Remember Since I Met You Baby but now that I’ve Got You Babe, I have but one. Only You! Do You Wanna Dance?”
The angel then left Eddie and Susie-Q to their Good Lovin.
As the angel walked away, he said, “See You Later, Alligator.”